I've said it once, and I'll say it again—the Los Angeles neighborhood you choose to live in says a lot about you, so you better pick the right one. Lack the self-awareness necessary to choose your ideal enclave yourself? Take this handy quiz and we'll let you know which of a very small number of buzzy neighborhoods best suits your renting style.
How much of your rent are your parents willing to pay?
A. 0 percent (because they tired of paying 100 percent of your rent for the past ten years)
B. 25 percent (but only until the workout app you've been developing "takes off")
C. 100 percent (but only until you graduate from USC with a degree in film studies)
D. 0 percent (because you're over 35)
E. 100 percent (but only until you graduate from UCLA with a degree in film studies)
F. 80 percent (but only until you move, defeated, back to the Midwest once your acting career stagnates)
How much of your rent are you, personally, willing to pay?
A. 100 percent (because your freaking parents refuse to keep paying it, even though they have, like, hella money)
B. 75 percent (because you found that guy on Craigslist who's willing to live in your extra bedroom for 135 percent of the market rate)
C. 0 percent (because you'll totally pay your parents back when you become the next George Lucas)
D. 100 percent (because the artisanal cheese store you opened with your wife Sasha is doing extremely brisk business)
E. 0 percent (because you'll totally pay your parents back when you become the next Francis Ford Coppola)
F. 20 percent (because you can't afford your apartment at The Oaks on a waiter's salary)
What's your favorite Los Angeles-based TV show?
E. Curb Your Enthusiasm
F. It's Garry Shandling's Show
Where do you like to brunch every Sunday?
A. A random taco truck
B. The Abbey
C. BCD Tofu House
E. The Ivy
How do you express your unique and special personality?
A. On your garage band's SoundCloud page
B. Via politically conscious bumper stickers
C. By playing top 40 pop music supremely loud in your studio apartment
D. By filling your bungalow with Mid-Century furniture
E. By having a reality show all about your unique and special personality
F. You don't
What's your favorite LA landmark?
A. La Cuevita
B. The Pacific Design Center
C. Brown Derby Plaza
E. The Westside Pavilion
F. Bob's Big Boy Burbank
When did you originally move to LA?
B. In the mid-'90s
F. During pilot season
What's your signature drink?
A. PBR tall boys
B. White wine spritzers
C. Soju, and lots of it
D. Anything prepared by a man wearing a bow tie and suspenders
E. Whatever the guy behind the counter at Wally's Wine recommends
F. Happy hour Margaritas
Where do you buy most of your furniture?
B. Design Within Reach
D. Danish Modern LA
E. Crate & Barrel (at The Grove, natch)
Mostly As: Highland Park
↑ The only thing you love more than displacing Latino families is replacing their businesses with vinyl-only record stores!
Mostly Bs: West Hollywood
↑ $9 cold pressed juices pair nicely with your $90 yoga pants. Let's do lunch at Tender Greens!
Mostly Cs: Koreatown
↑ You're a pretty "chill" person. How chill, you ask? Chill enough that if you pound enough Sojus, you're able to forget all about your apartment building's bed bug problem!
Mostly Ds: Silver Lake
↑ You spent your 20s living in Echo Park, drunkenly stumbling into Brite Spot after weekday nights spent dancing at The Echo. But now you're a parent and small business owner. Burn off that baby weight with a richly deserved run around Silver Lake Reservoir.
Mostly Es: West LA
↑ You are Larry David.
Mostly Fs: The San Fernando Valley
↑ Your only requirement for an apartment is close proximity to TGI Friday's. I salute you, American Patriot. —Megan Koester
· Renters Week 2015 [Curbed LA]
· The Totally Stereotyped But Very Accurate Guide to What Your LA Neighborhood Says About You [Curbed LA]