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Lonely Young Glendale Resident Begging Hipsters to Move In

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Glendale was voted Curbed LA's 2013 Neighborhood of the Year, but it probably didn't win for its exciting nightlife or hip cafes. In a sad Craigslist post titled "Looking for Young Hip Folks to Move to the Glendale Area," a Glendale denizen who's lived in the area for an unclear amount of time makes a plea for, well, someone—anyone—young and cool to move to Glendale. But the writer of this ad doesn't want to trick anyone into moving; as LAist points out, they're brutally honest about what they see as the quintessential aspects of Glendale: "mean, old people" everywhere, a plethora of vape stores, plentiful kabob shops, and "ugly as hell" architecture.

This Craigslister also puts a positive spin on Glendale's "notoriously aggressive and racist" police and slow-moving street construction—constant road closures because of construction? More like bike lanes everywhere!— as well as the fact that the city's most prominent landmarks are two malls right next door to each other. Wow! "Is the line too long at the Americana to recover all the chiptunes on your broken mac book air? No worries! Walk fifteen seconds to the Glendale Galleria and have them take a look at it."

The author clearly hates Glendale, the people they are trying to appeal to, and maybe even themselves a little bit for wanting some awful Echo-Park-castoffs to come to Glendale just so they can see a person their own age on the street. "[Reason] 10. Please. I would like some friends my age. Even if being this age is extraordinarily useless." Aw. Our hearts go out, young Glendalian.

Why is this person still living in Glendale when they clearly hate it? Probably for the same reason many people live where they do instead of where they'd like to: the rent is nice. At least, it seems like affordability might have something to do with it. Not only does the ad's author address potential readers as "my financially instable peers," but they also refer to Silver Lake disdainfully as the kind of place where people don't so much apartment-hunt as they "just drive around in their LEXUS (??) point at whatever building pleases them the most then purchase the damn thing on the spot."
· Looking for Young Hip Folks to Move to the Glendale Area (Glendale) [Craigslist]