Whoa: the coast has a lot more castles than we remember. To start on a high note, this property has a lot of excellent selling points: an amazing waterfront location, harbor views, a secret, "dramatic stone-walled wine tasting room" accessible from a hidden door in the library. Though the castle-like home (as seen on Curbed National) is probably not modeled after an actual castle that exists anywhere, it is protected from krakens and storms by an eight-foot statue of Neptune, god of the sea, so that's a big win as well. This house seems like it's straight out of the board game Clue: Not only are there secret passageways in this four-bedroom, four-bathroom "chateau", but there is also a dumb-waiter down to the game room and four turrets. (You will never find your kids in this place.) All this fanciful fun is asking $5.495 million.