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Utterly Bland Americana Condo Asking Utterly Bonkers $2MM

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Is Secrets of the Shopping Mall one of your all-time favorite books? Do you love trolleys, dancing fountains, Tony Bennett, and the color beige? If so, your dream home—i.e., a penthouse unit within the Americana's Excelsior condominium complex—has just hit the market. Per the listing, the 1,894-square-foot residence is on the fourth floor and features two bedrooms, two-and-a-half baths, a wrought-iron balcony, wood floors, and a gas fireplace. Among the amenities offered by the complex are concierge service, valet parking, "home delivery from select restaurants," and access to the Excelsior's private pool, spa, and Club Room. Those amenities don't come cheap, of course: monthly HOA dues are $1,136. That's in addition to the keep-dreamin' asking price of $1.99 million—over a million dollars more than the unit's 2011 sale price.

· 401 CARUSO Ave [Redfin]