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Snooty Malibu Waging War on Fancy Celebrity Rehab Centers

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Boy, those snooty Malibuites hate everyone who's not from around there, huh? They've waged war on beachgoers and now they're going after pill-popping celebrities, of all things--the city has been doing battle with the fancy Passages Mailbu rehab for years and has gotten so fed up, it's "taking a closer look at all the rehab facilities in Malibu," according to the Daily Beast. We know that celebrity rehabs are a lot of bullshit, cost up to $90,000 a month, and are packed with dumb amenities like recording studios, but Malibu says they are also apparently getting up to some zoning hijinks: officials accuse Passages of "tacking on fake addresses to pool houses and guesthouses in order to get additional facilities licensed." But really here's the heart of it: "some of the more posh joints have started expanding their businesses by buying up adjacent and nearby homes, changing the nature of the pristine secluded neighborhoods." Aha. Boy, tough to know who's worse here, but the officials do get off some really top notch NIMBYing:

-- Malibu City Attorney Christi Hogin: "They're buying up so many properties they're becoming a campus and controlling the neighborhood."
-- Malibu City Councilmember Lou La Monte: "We are investigating right now ... We are going to take our town back."
-- Mayor Joan House: "Some of them believe that they don't have to blend into the neighborhood, and instead the neighborhood should blend in with them ? They're being rugged cowboys and doing what they want, and that is unacceptable."
-- La Monte: "Every celebrity you saw in the back page of a newspaper was here ... There were black SUVs and paparazzi everywhere. They come in and take over the neighborhood."
-- Former Mayor Ken Kearsley "In front of our house we have 35 cars going up and down the street on every shift change ... In one parking lot there are 27 cars. What they have done is taken a small neighborhood with dead-end streets and turned it into a medical neighborhood. It's like living in Times Square."
· Malibu Cracks Down on Posh Rehab Facilities [Daily Beast]
· 12 Ridiculous Things to Know About LA's Bullshit Celeb Rehabs [Curbed LA]