To celebrate Hotels Week, we've sent comedians Barbara Gray (website) and Tess Barker to cause trouble and dig up dirt at the various clusterfucky hotels of the Sunset Strip (on Thursday, one of the clusterfuckiest of nights!). Starting right here around 11:30 pm, and going until about 4 am, they'll be getting up to all sorts of hijinks. Do tune in.
11:41 pm: After doing comedy in the upstairs of a Chinese restaurant in Los Feliz, Tess and I are officially ready to hit the hotels on Sunset strip, flasks in tow. Since we are frugal AND responsible, our friend and Lyft driver Brandie is rocking the pink mustache ride for us tonight.
11:50 pm: Barbara is the single girl among the pair tonight and looking for a love connection and maybe a glimpse at a fancy hotel room. Thumbs up for guys who are physically more attractive than me but too drunk to care.
12 am: Just has a mini-Borat ask us where we were going from the car next to us. We said 'Skybar!' He said 'Skybar - vera niiiiiice!'
12:09 am: Officially inside Skybar at the Mondrian. I broke the first cardinal rule of Hollywood by eating too much food to prepare myself. The bouncer noticed we are all locals and said 'Come back tomorrow night. Gonna be tight.'
12:17 am: Asked the bartender at Skybar where the parties at, he said 'The Hills - they got orgasms, everything'. Purchased a $13 Whiskey and coke - got this notification while I was signing my receipt.
12:32 am: Some dudes abandoned their bottle service and we swooped in accordingly, only to be kicked out, but not before stealing a glass of Moët which we are estimating at about $30 for the glass.
12:50 am: Tess and I snuck into the restaurant portion of the Mondrian, definitely closed, and terrified a guy working in the security office who, when we asked in dumb lady voices 'is this the bathroom?' answered WHOAH to the level of Joey from Blossom.
1:28 am: Well we attempted the Standard - totally dead. Took some pics at the Sunset Western then headed to Chateau Marmont to get our pics taken WITH the papparazzi. Our story of being here for Rob Thomas's bday is not going over, apparently. PS Barbara still has not found a douche to make out with.
2:10 am: Didn't get through as Rob Thomas guests so we snuck through the kitchen of Chateau Marmont - got through all the way to the bar and magically happened upon some gorgeous Italians named Nir and Guy. Got kicked out about five minutes in. Met up with the hot Italians across the street, made out in the cab and on the way to a hotel named the Farmers Daughter.
3:28 am: At the Farmers Daughter, accomplished three goals on our checklist of 1) get in a hotel pool 2) make out with a dude (Babs did this) 3) get in a hotel room. Babs made out with an Italian, Babs and Tess swam in the pool, and random dude got a suite for us to hang out in. Randomness abounds. We asked if Jeff, employee of the hotel, could hook us up, which was a resounding 'uhhhhhhh.'
3:47 am: I experience bliss at the highest level, floating in the Farmer's Daughter hotel pool at 2:30 am, drunk on Jameson and hope.
4:03 am: Here is Roy, cleaning out the pool at Skybar because apparently someone dropped a phone in it. We asked him what happens if people get in the pool but he just bent down to clean up a cocktail glass from his net.