Craigslist is the best place for finding the worst living situations. Megan Koester has found four really, really terrible ones up for grabs in Los Angeles right now.
The owner of this dungeon-like domicile, renting for $600, is currently remodeling it–-and by his own testimony, "SOME THINGS ARE ALMOST DONE." Now, granted, "RIGHT NOW THERE IS 'NO KITCHEN'," but you can totally use the fridge in the garage. Pictures indicate that there is currently a toilet in the living room and a gaping hole in the wall of the shower (the bathroom, it appears, is also a work in progress). Don't judge your future slumlord so harshly, though. He's clearly a chill dude, having gone out of his way to indicate that he's "open" to any race of tenant. We predict an NAACP award in this fellow's future!
Calling a garage a "garage room" (and charging $500 for it) doesn't make it any more a hospitable living space than calling your closet a "closet room." The author of this post acknowledges that the garage in question "was made for parking cars," yet maintains, "if you are looking for a low cost, big area to live in, this would be it." According to the ad, five other people live in the house, three of which you'd be sharing a bathroom with. There's also a "pool area," perfect if you need a reprieve from all those exhaust fumes and toilet mates.
We were totally into the idea of walking this schmuck's "2-3" dogs twice daily in exchange for discounted rent on his futon ... right until we found out he was "NOT 420 friendly." Sounds a little judgey, especially coming from a guy who wants you to shell out $400 a month to share a living room with another person and three "chill dogs." Sorry, sir, we're afraid we'd have to be constantly high in order to put up with that shit.
Got $1,115 a month burning a hole in your pocket? Want to spend it living amongst the most anal retentive yet self-described "peaceful" couple of all time? If so, welcome home! This ad's Iliad-length screed tells you everything you need to know, and then some, about what it takes to reside in their "magicland." Highlights include, "If you are someone who only listens to electronica or wants to play Call of Duty or other violent video games we just ask that you use headphones in the house" and "nut/sesame lovers look elsewhere." Merely being in the vicinity of nuts is a "DEALBREAKER," since, if you "touch surfaces with nut residue on your hands," the lady of the manner may get "violently sick." Before you even ask, yes: "coconut cooking oil is included in this" list of no-nos. They ARE, however, 420 friendly. So pick your battles. --Megan Koester
· Craigslist Power Hour [Curbed LA]