Like getting paid 81 cents for every dollar a man in a comparable job makes isn't shitty enough, women are also offered the worst of the worst in Craigslist housing situations from shallow, delusional men and shallow, delusional couples alike. Megan Koester rounds up the worst ones out there right now.
It's like idiots always say: a house without love ain't a home. This particular idiot, a 40-something Reseda resident who fancies himself a "Horror Mogul," is looking to home-ify his house with the right (read: attractive, 18- to 35-year-old) gal. His only caveat? No fat chicks. ("We all carry a few extra pounds, but let's keep it reasonable.") Hate cinema? Get up on this: "If you are a Child's Play or Chucky fan then I am your dream man as I own the coolest collection of Screen Used Chucky Puppets and Props in the World." The cherry on the shit sundae? His divorce is "nearly final"!
Hey, U! Yeah, U! R U an AMAZING female? If so, why not dedicate your life to providing "lite cooking" and "sensual massage" services to this "Young adult Entertainment couple"? They're "DRAMA FREE" and live a mere 1.9 miles away from the "Anthony Meindl's Actor's Workshop," whatever the hell that is. Just imagine: you could have a weird threesome with your bosses ... then go work on your craft ... for free! Live the dream!
The individual who placed this ad is "trying to be the best Land lard" he or she can be--we fear, however, that he is failing miserably. Any land lard (sic) worth their salt would know that it's illegal to discriminate based on gender and drama preference. (This is, apparently, a "drama free" household.) They'd also know that posting a photo as depressing as this would surely instill more malaise than enthusiasm in potential tenants. Why is the bed blocking the door? Why does merely looking at said bed make us want to abandon our dreams and move back to the Midwest, even though we're not actually from there? WHY?
Looking to break into the biz? Why not shack up with this divorced father of Christ-knows-how-many who works in the delightfully vague "Film / TV / Social Media Projects" field? For only $100 a week, you can share a home (and 20 years worth of alleged experience in the entertainment industry) with a humble fellow who "[doesn't] think [he's] all that, but [has] been complimented in the past." Challenge yourself by trying to beat his "record for the longest kiss with [his] 1st love in high school"! --Megan Koester
· Craigslist Power Hour [Curbed LA]