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Answered: Who Is that Asshole Driving in the Breakdown Lane?

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Look, we all have a lot of different opinions, but one thing we can all agree on is that the guy speeding in the breakdown lane to get past traffic is an asshole who deserves to be put in a stockade for his stubborn refusal to acknowledge that he is a member of human society and can't just act any way he damn pleases at the expense of other members of human society. Who is this antisocial dick who thinks he's so much better than everyone else? Oh, it's nineties Soloflex model/Mariel Hemingway boyfriend Bobby Williams (among others, probably), as revealed in the New York Times Magazine's profile of Hemingway this weekend. On a recent trip up to Ojai to buy "sunflower sprouts, pumpkin seeds and raw sprouted almonds" and "visit a healer who used dowsing rods to make his diagnoses," Williams darted back and forth between lanes, exploiting any visible space between cars to wedge in. When this failed to move us ahead with satisfactory swiftness, he swerved to the right shoulder and drove 80 miles an hour on it the rest of the way, jerking the car sharply back into the lane whenever the shoulder ended ... In the mirror, I could see the words "Just Breathe" written on his T-shirt. I tried to remember this as he revved to 115 miles an hour. At first glance, Williams maybe isn't exactly the variety of asshole you'd expect--he doesn't work, but still thinks there aren't enough hours in the day to "take care of [him]self" and he believes that "70 percent of the absorption [of ... something?] is through the bottom of your feet"--but then he also eats raw eggs, tells his girlfriend not to "talk like a girl" when he does something distressing, and rants a big game about kicking Ernest Hemingway's ass. And there is nothing more pathetically macho than that.
· The Importance of Not Being Ernest [NYTM]