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7 Odd Carmageddon-Themed Marketing Pitches

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This weekend's 53 hour shutdown of the 405 Freeway provides all kinds of angles: Harry Potter box office! Hasidic Jews! Farmer sleepovers! But by far the most popular angle is the tangentially-related marketing pitch--we've collected a lot in the weeks since Carmageddon's announcement. Here are seven of our favorites:

Product: $4 JetBlue flights between Long Beach and Burbank
Pitch: "Rise above the 405 freeway closure in LA"
Actual relationship to Carmageddon on a scale of 1 to 5: 4

Product: A two bedroom apartment at the Jefferson at Hollywood
Pitch: "CARMAGEDDON whaaaat!!?? LIVE close to EVERYTHING!"
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 1

Product: $100 weaves
Pitch: "If you're a Valley Girl, stay in the Valley to get your hair done this weekend and avoid the mess of the freeways to get to LA to get your hair done!"
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 2

Product: SLS Hotel room and spa packages
Pitch: "From 405 relief accommodations, to calming spa packages at the Ciel Spa, the SLS Hotel at Beverly Hills’ offerings are the perfect solution to stay out of the traffic and stay sane."
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 2

Product: The song "MoFo LA Freeway System" by The MoFoz (link goes to an mp3)
Pitch: "Here is the perfect song for the nightmare weekend that is quickly approaching...The Song will identify your station with Intelligence and Humor and will help diffuse the anger of Road Rage ... This is your chance to potentially save some lives!"
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 3

Product: The Carmageddon "Staycation Guide"
Pitch: "tips and tricks for your staycations, like how to build a sandy beach in your living room, creating a D.I.Y. golf course with the help of a little astro turf, and making your own ?replace Boyscout style (iTunes Yule Log)."
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 5

Product: Group sex
Pitch: "Hey.....so because of 'Carmageddon' this weekend, we will be near home and wanting to play! We are looking for girl/girl and same room sex. We like to drink and smoke...420. We are very laid back and pretty cool (so weve been told). We want to meet for drinks and just go from there...maybe get a room."
Actual relationship to Carmageddon: 3
[405 photo via Zev Yaroslavsky]
· World Likely to End When the 405 Shuts Down for a July Weekend [Curbed LA]