Welcome back to Million Dollar Listing, now on its new night, joining Glee to make America's dumbest night of television. This week Madison struggles to sell in WeHo and the two Joshes deal with foreigners. Onward!
This episode Josh Altman and his dim witted assistant Mikey have an urgent Saturday meeting because a potential big commission is in the making. An East Coast family friend, Evan, has contacted Josh A. looking to buy a property in Los Angeles for his client, a mysterious European businessman. Josh A. describes Evan as "a high-end concierge" who basically caters to his wealthy clientele. Evan is flying in for one day to look at "the best properties on the market." Evan is interested in looking at homes in the $10 million- 20 million range. You can practically see the drool coming out of the side of Josh's mouth as he counts his commission in his tiny head. Josh goes on to explain to slow learning Mikey that Evan isn't buying the house himself, he's just making the recommendation to the buyer on which house to buy.
Josh A picks up Evan from the airport and at some point in their 24-hour whirlwind of activity, they make a stop at a 9 bedroom, 9 bath home located at 12300 Mullholland Drive. The home is listed at $12 million and includes a two-story guest house, twin mirrored staircases and canyon views. The interior of the home is massive, and per the listing includes parking for 100 cars. Is that even possible? Midway through the showing, Evan has seen enough and tells Josh A. that they should move on.
They bolt from the Mulholland property and go to another listing in the exclusive Beverly park neighborhood. The home located at 72 Beverly Park Drive is uber-slick, featuring 20,000 sq. ft, 11 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms, a private gym, guest house, panic room, and 12 person jacuzzi, all on 6.7 acres and listed at $19 million. You can tell this house has an interesting story - like it was built by a Quadaffi son or an heir to the Lap Band fortune. Something like that. And in fact it sort of does. Per the Real Estalker, the home was owned by "porn purveyor Norm Zada."
Although Mister Zada earned a doctorate from UC Berkeley, worked as an adjunct professor of mathematics at institutions of higher learning like Stanford and Columbia, became a champion poker player and a money manager, he chose to make his big bucks and major mark on the world with a seriously smutty magazine called Perfect 10 in which women who have not had any cosmetic surgery are pictured baring their naughty bits and nether parts in all their extremely explicit glory. After doing the tour of the house, Evan seems interested, but Josh A isn't quite sure. Evan must go back and confer with his mysterious European businessman client. So the Bravo cameras follow Josh night and day awaiting the call from Evan, who awakens Josh A at 4 AM with the news that his keepers have decided to make an offer of $15 million. Josh A is worried that an offer $4 million under asking won't fly, but supposedly next episode we find out if the offer is accepted. Meanwhile, in the telenovela portion of the show, Heather (Madison's assistant and friend) arrives at Josh A's house. Josh A. mentions that they have been hanging out a lot since their date, which we saw on last week's episode. Heather confides to Josh A. that she wants to move on from the office in Malibu by setting up a satellite branch of the Madison Hildebrand-brand in West Hollywood. However, she worries that Madison will be hurt. Ay Dios mio! Shifty eyed Josh A. offers to help Heather by setting up interviews for her if Madison goes ape shit when she tells him her plan. Dun-dun-dun!
Josh Flagg receives good news this episode in the form of a listing (imaginary or real, it's hard to tell). Long time client Jason (a foreign businessman) owns a beautiful home in Hidden Valley that unfortunately he just doesn't want anymore. The problems of the rich! He asks Josh to sell the home (located at 2200 White Stallion Road), a 10,000 sq. ft. beauty, with 6 beds/9 baths, a saltwater pool, a dog house with central air, and a human-sized doll house, all located on 20 acres. Josh suggests a listing price in the $11 million range, but Jason tells him the house is worth at least $13 million. Josh relents and agrees to list the house at $12.9 million.
At the broker open house, a smattering of agents show up to taste the food and walk around the house oohing and ahhing. Following the open house there are no offers, however Josh has arranged one private showing which he is very excited about.
The agent is driving with the potential buyers from LA to the house in Hidden Valley, but the entire thing was obviously completely made up. And not very well thought out. First, the agent calls Josh to tell him that he is just passing Topanga Canyon and asks how much further he has to drive. A bit later he calls asking for directions, and Josh tells him to get off the freeway at Exit 40. First of all, nobody in LA ever gives a freeway exit by the number. That's stupid and would make most of us drive into a ditch or into oncoming traffic due to confusion. A normal Angeleno would say: "Get off at Westlake Blvd. Wait, why are you going to Thousand Oaks? Gross." Then the agent calls again to cancel because they hit traffic in Tarzana and they decided to turn around. This makes no sense since the agent had called earlier and said that they were just passing Topanga Canyon. Give Josh's writers a Thomas Guide!
Madison Hildebrand is still hoping to get an offer on the penthouse condo at 925 Genesee, featured last week. In addition to his menacing client, he is also dealing with rogue employee Heather who is hooking-up with Josh A. Poor Madison. During lunch with Heather, where Madison tears into Josh Altman and the suspicious call he received from his mom, agent Christie St. James calls. Her client, Dmitriy has decided to make an offer on the Genesee condo. Dmitriy is ready to make an offer of $775k causing Madison to convulse and roll his eyes. Presenting the low-ball offer ($225k below asking price) to Julian is going to be brutal.
Later, Madison meets with his co-lister Lydia to discuss the offer where she again warns him of Julian's impending meltdown. They meet with Julian to calmly discuss the offer, and after some consideration he seems ok with presenting a counteroffer of $825k. The three conference call Christie to present the counteroffer even as Julian continues to get more fidgety and angry as the call progresses. After presenting the counteroffer to Dmitriy offline, Christie calls back and tells Madison, Lydia and Julian that he won't meet their counteroffer. Julian goes off his nut and screams into the phone, "Tell your cheap ass buyer to walk away and go find himself something down in Downtown LA or some rat hole place, ok, because I'm not going to sell him my unit." He storms out, leaving Madison and Lydia to apologize to Christie who must be having a grand old time on the other end of the phone.
Back at his Malibu office, apparently a few days later, Madison takes a call from Christie St. James. Her client Dmitriy has had a change of heart and is going to fax over another offer on the Genesee condo. As the faxed pages roll in, Madison awaits the offer finally finding in the paperwork an offer price of $825k. A giddy Madison thinks he has a deal. Hopefully, we'll find out next week if Julian accepts the offer.
Back to the telenovela, during Madison's mini-celebration over the offer from Dmitriy, Heather casually mentions that now might be a good time to expand the business, with her opening a West Hollywood office. Madison is furious on his insides. He accuses Josh Altman of being behind Heather's newly discovered ambition. Heather denies that Josh A. is behind her desire to leave. Madison asks Heather if she will quit if he denies her her freedom from his Malibu office. They stare at each other, and Madison concludes by saying he will get back to her.
Highlights
Josh Altman: Following in Madison's footsteps - you may recall last season Madison was shown driving a white or black BMW, depending on the episode - Josh is shown driving a black Range Rover this episode instead of his usual Escalade.
Josh Flagg: Josh's grandmother Edith suggests that Josh should write a book. Josh doesn't know what to write about so Edith suggests he write a book about real estate.
After a commercial break, Josh is shown writing his book in a hotel, where he has decided to seclude himself so he can focus. Next week, Josh's book writing causes drama when he decides to talk about himself being gay.
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