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Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Episode 5: Let's Go to WeHo

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Another episode of "Million Dollar Listing" is upon us, and once again, here's Josh Williams, back to recap last night's episode...

Josh Flagg, having completely given up on the million dollar listing premise of the show, begins this week's episode in Hollywood by attending TigerHeat, the weekly gay dance night at Avalon. But Josh isn't there to play, he's there to do business as best as he knows how. Josh meets with transexual performance artist Candis Cayne and her business partners to discuss finding a restaurant space in West Hollywood. Their goals are simple - they want a long term lease not to exceed $20k per month and they need to have space for Candis to perform. Due to the god-awful economy, Josh sees this as doable.

Using his extensive list of connections (named LoopNet and CoStar), Josh finds a few places in West Hollywood's gay strip that might work. First, Mexico y Barra Restaurant at the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica, which failed to make it past the two year mark. The owners are asking only $15k per month, but Josh tells Candis et. al. that it is negotiable. The downside is that the space will need a bit of work, mostly paint to cover the hideous pink.

Josh's second suggestion is the former Java Detour space located at the corner of homo and sexual, and just a few drunken steps away from The Abbey. Leasing for the tiny space is $20k per month, mostly due to it's prime location.

Candis and her partners agree that despite some drawbacks, including the need for extensive renovations and a higher lease price, they want to go after the Java Detour space. If Josh is able to negotiate a reduced lease price, they will snap it up. Josh sets up a meeting with Ed, the leasing agent for both the Java Detour and Mexico Restaurant spaces. At the meeting, Josh offers Ed a deal of $10k for a five year lease due to the improvements required and the fact that everything that goes in that space dies. Ed responds, "You know that’s outlandish and unacceptable." Brutal! Ed is unwilling to budge on the price and Josh is rightly rejected. Josh then asks about the Mexico property. The space is being leased for $15k but Josh offers $12k. Ed, realizing he's in some bizarre fantasy TV world, plays along and counters with $14.5k just to humor Josh. Josh makes the case that the clients will be there for many years, therefore a reduced price is appropriate. He negotiates a deal for $13.5k for 5 years. It's a workable deal for everyone. Later, Josh, Candis and the others celebrate the Mexico lease with a drink. They announce that they will dub the place Villa Tequila. And... scene. Per our sister site Eater, here's the latest we have on that whole Mexico Restaurant storyline. And here's a current listing for the space, back on LoopNet.
Back in Topanga Canyon, Josh Altman is still trying to unload the almost-Jimi Hendrix house. As you may recall from last episode, Josh A and co-lister Jimmy Quill are now marketing the home (located at 21423 Colina Drive) as a horse property, since the "rock star pad" approach didn't motivate any buyers. Josh and his dim witted assistant Mikey drive through the neighborhood distributing flyers, inviting people to "take a gander" at the horse property.

The marketing of the home lures in one potential buyer, a non-profit group named Freedom Riders, who specialize in teaching horseback riding to kids and adults with special needs. At first Josh A and Jimmy Quill are taken aback, mostly because Josh is skeptical of the buyers seriousness. Josh wonders if they even have two million to spend on the house since they are a non-profit. Surprisingly, the Freedom Rider people call Josh A. to make an offer. At a meeting in the home, the non-profit people offer $1.5 million in cash (no contingencies), almost half a million below the listed $1.995 million. Josh A. counters with $1.899 million. Everyone gives each other the stink eye. The non-profit lady and her agent look tepid and ready to bolt. They can go no higher than $1.75 million. Josh A and Jimmy Quill talks to the seller, and he reluctantly agrees to the offered price. House sold.

Continuing his side story, Josh A. has a dinner date with Heather, Madison's assistant. If you recall, the relationship between Josh A. and Heather is being built up as the cause for drama later in the season. During the dinner Josh's mom calls and it's super lame. She talks to Heather for a few moments and then tells Josh A. she will call him later. Josh A. and Heather finish dinner, smile at each other some more, go to a stranger's house, break in, drink champagne, and make out.

Madison Hildebrand meets fellow agent Lydia for lunch. Lydia is kvetching because she is the broker for Lux925, a 4-unit condo building in West Hollywood located at 925 Genesee Avenue. The building has one remaining unit, and Lydia is finding it impossible to sell. The condo was originally priced at $1.2 million, but has since been chopped down to $1 million (per Trulia, it has since been chopped down to $899k). Lydia is running out of time to sell the property and the property owner is getting bitchy with her. Lydia begs Madison to co-list with the hope of bringing in Madison's clients and expertise. Madison explains that bringing on a co-lister at this point is another strategy to help save the listing and bring new energy and new clientele.

The next day, Madison and Lydia meet with the owner Julian, an angry man who is facing foreclosure on the property unless it's sold quickly. Lydia guides Madison through the intricacies of the property and the neighborhood, noting "it's the only happening building on the street" and the neighborhood is full of a "Russian demographic," which she thinks is fantastic.

The third floor unit features 1,865 sq ft, 2 beds, 2.5 baths, a soaking tub, a european style kitchen, and a private rooftop patio. Before giving the listing to Madison, Julian asks that Madison impress him, because there's a lot of other realtors looking to represent this property. What an ass! Madison fumbles through his elevator pitch, noting he is young and has a diverse clientele... and energy! So much energy, Madison says as his eyeballs slowly receded under his heavy eyelids. The owner gives Madison 30 to 45 days to sell the condo. Madison balks at the timeframe, telling Julian he needs at least three months to invest the time and effort needed to get a buyer. Julian huffs and puffs, but agrees to a three month listing agreement with Madison. But he promises to start busting balls on day 31 if there is no movement on the property.

In preparation for his first open house, Madison meets his Russian speaking friend Stella for help in placing an ad in the local Russian newspaper. The name of the paper is written in cyrillic so we have no idea what the name of it is. Proving that Madison is on his game, the ad succeeds in bringing in a number of Russian lookie-loos, including an elderly couple who ask him if the condo "can be more cheaper." Old people are the best. He suggests they write an offer.

During the open house, Josh Altman rolls up in his douche-mobile, finding a parking spot directly in front of the building, because that's how cool he is. At this point the producers must jab the two agents with cattle prods to get them to fight. You can practically here the electric zaps. Madison barfs all over the call Josh A. received from his mom during the date with Heather, saying that it was a total set-up designed to win Heather over by proving Josh A. has respect for his mother because he answers her calls. Josh A. calls out Madison on being a total player and mama hater. Madison warns Josh A. not to hurt Heather. Answering calls from your mom ain't cool with Madison.

Highlights

Josh Flagg: On comparing his looks to the finely sculpted looks of tranny performer Candis Cayne. "I've got three nose jobs, an ear lift, and a chin implant and I don't look that good."

Josh Altman: "I initially asked Heather out because she's beautiful, she's smart, she's a licensed real estate agent. Sounds like a catch to me."