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Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Ep 3: The Episode When Nothing Sold

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Episode three of Million Dollar Listing promises to up the drama from the previous two snoozers. Let's keep our fingers crossed that something finally happens. The drama this season has been reduced to the awkward, music enhanced pause when the seller hears the suggested (always lower than what they want) listing price from his agent.

Madison Hildebrand and his client Ismir continue their quest to purchase the Jamie Kennedy estate in Los Feliz. Ismir and his deeply furrowed brows tag along with Madison to the negotiation meeting with Jamie Kennedy's listing agent, Burt Bakman, of the Studio City Bakmans. They offer a ridiculously low $2.1 million for the house (with furniture) and the Shelby Cobra parked in the garage. As a reminder, the house was listed at $2.5 million. Just to be clear, in his best Ivan Drago voice, Ismir growls "I vant the car."

Burt calls Jamie with the offer, and we imagine they had a real good laugh offscreen, but Jamie rejects the offer. Madison and Ismir regroup and return with a retooled offer of $2.2 million for the house and furniture, but without the car. Again, the offer is totally rejected. Ismir looks defeated, furrowing his brow to a previously un-furrowed level, and decides to walk away. Outside the home Ismir criticizes Madison's negotiating skills, telling him that he should have "pushed harder". Ismir wonders aloud whether their relationship will work. Quick thinking Madison realizes he's getting canned, which is probably for the best.

Madison moves on from his let down with Ismir to a new client, and friend, Dr. Darshan Shah, a plastic surgeon who specializes in boobs and body surgery. Dr. Shah's home at 26508 Latigo Shore Drive in Malibu sits above the beach and used to be owned by George Foreman, of boxing and grilling fame. The 2,817 sq. ft. house sits on a 5,218 sq. ft. lot, with 3 bedrooms and 3.5 baths. Madison suggests a listing price between $5.5 and 6 million. The good doctor counters that the house next door is going for more, and just as every other seller who has been on this show before, believes his house is therefore worth more. With Madison's guidance they agree to list the house at $5.695 million.

At the broker open house, Madison's previously unknown, and still unnamed young intern (he has a Pepperdine look to him) makes an appearance for the first time. They work together to bake cookies and move a Lamborghini, but fail. The showing goes swimmingly and the other brokers eat Madison's cookies.

Later, at a private showing, Josh Altman shows up to the home with his client, Maks Chmerkovskiy from television's Dancing with the Stars. After a tour around the house, Josh A and Maks sit down to discuss how expensive the house is for the size and how it has nothing they want. Perfect. Josh A tells Madison that they're not interested and that the house is overpriced. Madison gets huffy and defends the pricing. They agree to disagree, but we can already see the seeds of their impending hate f*ck.
This episode, Josh Altman partners with Mauricio Umansky, husband to Kyle Richards of Bravo's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Mauricio is seeking to co-list a home at 9342 Sierra Mar Drive, in the Bird Streets. The home, which Josh describes as a show stopper (not quite a panty dropper, but still impressive) is listed at $8.995 million and was designed and built by Mike Palumbo, who is famous enough to have a site dedicated to how much he sucks. The lovely hillside home includes 3,772 sq. ft. , 4 bedrooms, 7 baths, a guest house, private theater, and infinity pool.

Josh A and Mauricio hold an open house, and a big gaggle of realtors show up to look at the house. Unfortunately, the interest from potential buyers is fairly low. At episodes end, Josh A gives a tour to a woman from Dallas and her friend/husband/son(?) who looks like Chet Haze. They love the house but would prefer to lease instead of buy. Josh A is nonplussed as he weighs the lost commission versus getting the property moved quickly. In the end, Mauricio and Josh A convince Mike Palumbo to take the lease deal ($50k per month). Deal done.

Josh Flagg is still sort of a real estate agent, maybe. We're not sure exactly why he's on the show anymore. This episode Josh has very important meetings with his mother, where they discuss caviar, and with his grandmother, where they discuss how Josh is always so busy and needs to find an assistant. During his caviar brunch with his mom, a former neighbor calls Josh about an opportunity to list her house in Beverly Hills. The home located at 9346 Readcrest Drive features 2,348 sq. ft. , 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, brushed steel floors and views of the home that Suzanne Sommers once lived in.

At a meeting with the former neighbor, Elizabeth, and her husband Farshad, they agree to list the home at $3.1 million, but Josh preps them for a possible reduction to a number starting with a two.

In Josh's side story, he follows his grandmother's advice and sets up interviews to find an assistant, a.k.a. an unpaid intern. A series of blank looking youngsters rotate into a conference room to meet with Josh so that he can "interview" them. Finally, Josh picks a pair of blonde twin girls from the Inland Empire to be his intern. So redonkulous. Did the cast just double in size this episode?

Highlights

Madison Hildebrand: Ismir to Madison: "Madison, if I offer full price, why do I need you?"

Madison Hildebrand: In a side story, designed to remind us that Madison is a new homosexual, Madison's friend Shelly invites him to a dinner party in Bel Air. Shelly also invites some guy that she hopes Madison will fall deeply in lurrrv with. As per usual, Madison's on-screen mating dance consists of awkward, stilted conversation and staring off into space. Even our cat winced. Madison feels no chemistry with the guy, which is good because they've already introduced too many new people on this episode and we can't keep track of them all.

Josh Altman: Reminds us why east coasters in LA can be insufferable. "I'm not a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. I'm from the east coast. I'm from Boston. I'm more formal."

Josh Flagg: "Cute young blonde pretty girls are going to help me sell this house."

· Million Dollar Listing Archives [Curbed LA]