We've spent the past few days sharing Curbed LA readers' rental horror stories as part of a network-wide contest. So whose horror story is the most horrible? Now is the time to decide! This poll will be open until 9 am tomorrow morning; voting irregularities will be strictly policed. The winner of this poll will advance to the national round, where Los Angeles's best horror storyteller will have a shot at winning a free month's rent (up to $2,500, our lawyers would like us to note). Before the vote, let's recap the week's tales:
Contestant #1: Drunken Landlord Hates Tandem Parking Too
"I turn the corner to see my landlord in this red compact car revving up to ram my car a third time! I scream as loud as I can "STOPPPPP! What are you doing?!?!" He, to my amazement, brings the car to a stop. A fanatical brunette is hysterically mumbling 'Oh my God' to herself on the sidewalk. My landlord stumbles out of the car and from over 20 feet away, [I can] smell the barrage of alcohol coming from his body."
Contestant #2: How to Fix a Living Room Lake in Glendale
"The water seeped in through the sliding-glass door and formed a lake on the living-room carpet. The landlady consulted with her handyman (who was the person who converted the garage), and he suggested pouring some concrete in the living room to raise the depression where the lake was forming (incredibly, I am not making this up). I suggested sealing the sliding glass door instead, an idea that was met with ridicule by both the landlady and the handyman."
Contestant #3: Hot Toilet Water and Bees in the Wall in Echo Park House
"Once, our toilet decided to stop working. [Del] literally left us without a pot to piss in for a few days. When we were finished with our business, we'd have to fill a bucket with water and pour it into the bowl to make our waste flush away. He sent over a handyman to fix it who showed up with a six pack and chain smoked. He left all his butts in our still unfixed toilet. After a while, he mickey-moused something together so that our toilet worked but it had hot water in it so that our asses would sweat when we sat down. It took about 2 weeks to get the whole thing fixed right."
Contestant #4: The Tale of the Dog-Stealing Apartment Neighbor
"My dog was tied up to a parking meter on Beverly Blvd while this asshole was inside getting his drunk on. I am shaking so hard I can hardly untie my dog. I drive home, leave him a scathing message and vow to never speak to him again. Three hours later he starts beating on my door like a crazy person threatening to kill me and calling me every name in the book."
Contestant #5: Hollywood Hills Renters Drive Away Hard-Partying Pop Star
"From 3-6 a.m. our cul-de-sac would be overrun with stiletto heeled waifs throwing their smoldering butts into the hydrangeas as they loudly cackled about being discovered. Neighbors contacted TMZ anonymously to complain, but within seconds of hanging up they’d be at our doors with cameras. So much for anonymous?"
Contestant #6: The Tale of the Accidental Squatter
"After a particularly long day at the office I came home around midnight and noticed everything was dark. The motion light on my patio didn't turn on as it usually did. I got to my front door and the deadbolt had been removed and a padlock had been placed on the door. There was also a note stapled to the door saying that I had been given notice of eviction 90 days prior and was now illegally squatting in the house."
Contestant #7: 14 Cats, a Dead Possum, and Fleas in Old Silver Lake Apartment
"Tenants questioned him and not only did they discover the dozen cats living in his four hundred square foot studio, they also found out about two wild possums he had adopted from the trees outside. Finally, more inquiries revealed that the stench originated from one of the possums--it was dead. Management asked him to get rid of it and so he threw it away in the communal trash bin. Shortly after though, the old man must have experienced some sort of separation anxiety because he retrieved the carcass from the trash bin."
Contestant #8: Strangers Doing Laundry, a Child Molester, and a Few Live Grenades in Van Nuys
"Once [Creepy Manager] took over the building, everything went to hell. Locks on the front gate were constantly broken. Drug deals happened in the open. Dog poop everywhere. There were random people, who were not tenants, would show up to do laundry and would get mad when I was doing MY laundry. A resident had gone off his meds and keyed several cars and smashed a couple of windows. Oh yeah and the roach problem. The CM blamed it on the build down the street that was demolished. I don't think so."