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No Pretty Girls or Savages For This Impulsive, Disciplined MoFo

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The Catch features everything-looks-good-except listings. Submissions to the tipline please.

What/Where: A reader sent in this ad for a share in Bel Air, "just north of Westwood and Sunset Blvd., just east of the 405." The owner and one other roommate are already living in the house.

Sounds good, right?: "Maid cleans whole house every other Saturday. There is ample Parking, Laundry Machines, Wireless High Speed Internet. You'll have your own bathroom and a glass wall overlooking the canyon. I don't know of anything better you can get for the price. This house costs me over $10,000/month as one expense in my life, and I wish I could live here for $1500. I've spent almost $500,000 transforming the house with remodeling, furniture and art to create an extremely modern/contemporary feel. Kitchen is fully stocked with most anything you can think of. There's a Movie Room with an 80" TV and stocked with several hundred DVDs."

The Catch: Sorry, girls--"especially if you're attractive"--you're strictly verboten (no word on women, of course). Same goes for couples, children, smokers, pets, and "savages." But besides that, what catch? You get to live with this guy: "Most importantly, there's access to ME. Being around me and watching me put together multi-million dollar deals, there's no doubt a ton of valuable traits will rub off onto you. I'm a disciplined hardcore motherfucker with a highly developed ability to get shit done and make things happen...I'm pretty impulsive and make decisions fast. I'm very selective about who I live with, but you've got a real shot right now." You heard the man, get going.
· $1500 / 1br - Bel Air Luxury Contemporary/Modern House - Room Available (Bel Air, Los Angeles) [Craigslist]