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Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Ep 9: "Absolutely Insane!"

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The finale of this season's Million Dollar Listing tries to wrap up all the important story lines of the season. With the market in shambles, the season saw only a handful of big deals, with the agents spending most of their time soothing the frayed nerves of panicked sellers. So what did we see in the big finale? Chad and Josh fight again (without the intervention of Chad's little dog)! Madison gayness explodes! And Josh's grandma plays golf! We're guessing the plans for next season are already underway.

Madison Hildebrand starts the final episode by showing the same house as last episode. The custom home, located in the wilds of Agoura Hills, underwent a pricechop to $3.950 million which has attracted a few more potential buyers. Madison shows the house to one couple who seem to really connect with the home - they even love the water spout that comes out of the ceiling. They're Madison's last best hope. However, despite absolutely loving the house the couple backs out due to the commute distance. Madison is forced to return to the homeowners to report another failure and the need "to restrategize." The homeowners surprise Madison when they announce that they've reworked their loan with the bank and now they can afford to stay in their dream home. Fan-fucking-tastic. Madison's hard work results in no commission and a nice pat on the back. Later, Madison attends a NOH8 photo show with his ex-girlfriend, and discusses his new found gayness. By episode's end he's tongue-wrestling with a boy in the swimming pool.

Chad Roger's listing for the episode is with a neurotic record producer-type named Bradley. Bradley's 3,032 sq.ft. hillside home includes 2 beds/ 3.5 baths, 2 professional sound studios and "a million dollar view" of the Valley. Chad suggests listing the home for $1.7 to 1.8 million. Bradley, his hair growing grayer by the second, says he paid $2.3 million for the house and now he's realized he can't afford to keep it. Ah, the troubles of not being as wealthy as you think you are. In fact, he hasn't made a house payment in over 9 months and is now afraid that the sheriff is going to come knocking on his door to kick him out. Chad tries to calm Bradley and declares that he will not let Bradley get evicted. Poor delusional Chad. Later, a nervous Bradley calls Chad, leaving increasingly desperate voice mails as the sheriff's department arrives to serve him with an eviction notice. Yes, the person he calls for help is his realtor, Chad Rogers. Chad sits down with Bradley to dispense some advice on how to restructure his loan and keep his home. His advice includes continually calling the bank and disclosing his income to the bank. Eventually Bradley partners with a couple of businessmen who forward him some cash, giving him additional time to hold onto his house and hope he can earn some more money before the bank comes calling again. That was an odd segment. At the conclusion of Chad's portion of the show, Chad takes Victoria to a house which he declares he wants to buy for them, so they can live together forever with their little dog and his hair.

Josh Flagg's listing for the episode is a partially built home on a nice secluded, one-acre lot in beverly hills. The owner is a real estate investor who had to foreclose on the previous owner, an architect who had trouble with permits. Architects... pffft. The property comes permit ready, it just needs someone with the money to build a house on the property. They agree to list the property at $1.995 million. Josh's first showing is to a builder named Steve. Steve, we learn, has built numerous properties for celebrities in Beverly Hills. After a quick tour around the property Steve notes that crumbling hillside and the need for at least two costly retaining walls. Doing the math in his head, Steve decides to take a pass on the property. Josh speaks with his client again and suggests a price chop of at least $500k. They agree on a new price of $1.5 million.

Josh's next showing is to a pushy realtor representing a cash buyer. She wants a price cut to bring the property in line with the current market conditions. The buyer offers $1.3 million cash, with a 60 day contingency period so the buyer can try to get a construction loan. The seller is nonplussed given the uncertainty which would result in his property being tied up for two months. Josh offers a crazy idea to take $300k, loan the buyer $1 million to fund their construction, and make money off interest from the loan, or something like that. By episode's end, the property goes into escrow, although we've heard that before only to find some of Josh's properties still on the market. So who knows. The episode ends with Josh and his grandmother, Edith, playing golf.

Finally, the whole gang is brought together by a devious realtor named Ron for a Habitat for Humanity project in Pacoima. Ron invites each realtor to help build a home for a poor family. Naturally, everyone agrees to go without a second thought because they're good people on the inside despite what we see on the outside. The three realtors work side by side hanging drywall, where the drama naturally unfolds. Chad annoys Josh right away by bringing his own toilet paper. Madison asks Chad about his ongoing drama with Josh. At first, Chad pretends there is no bad blood but then essentially tells Madison to mind his own business ("Don't cheapen this day.") Chad also refuses to talk about the W Hollywood sale from last episode. Madison claims to just be making chit chat but Chad claims that he wants to focus on building the house. Josh Flagg pulls Chad aside to finally work out their issues. They each agree that they want to get past their differences and it looks like they might embrace at one point and hug it out, but then Chad tells Josh that he doesn't have his facts straight. Josh then goes off on Chad, asking Chad how such a lovely person as his mother could have begat such a creepy ass like Chad. Chad reminds Josh about the threats from last episode against his little dog Starla. Josh calls Chad sick. They separate and presumably finish hanging drywall in bitter silence. It won't be a satisfying end until one of them is bloodied. Maybe next season, Bravo!?

Highlights

Chad Rogers: Chad to his client Bradley."I do not want to see the bank... (long pause)... take your house away from you."

Chad Rogers: "I'm a realtor, not a foreclosure specialist."

Chad Rogers: While getting a pedicure, Chad asks one of the Vietnamese ladies to give his dog Starla a 20 minute massage.

Josh Flagg: to Chad, "Look at your face. Look at your face! You're sick!"

Chad Rogers: to Josh "There is no truce!"

Chad Rogers: about his confrontation with Josh. "He went absolutely insane. And just threw my mom out of left field. It's like, I'm not bringing your mom into anything, don't bring my mom into it."

· Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Ep 8: Loathing and Self-Loathing [Curbed LA]
· Million Dollar Listing Archives [Curbed LA]