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Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Ep 7: Chad Eats Starla

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In the 7th episode of this season's Million Dollar Listing we learn that everyone is an asshole except for Josh's grandma. In this very special episode of MDL, we're taken from Malibu to Amsterdam and back, while special guest appearances include everyone from super-lawyer Ronald Richards, Madison's bony sternum, and the return of swarthy dentist, Dr. Sam.

Josh Flagg starts the episode with a visit to a therapist who tells him that he has issues. Yes! Later, Josh meets with his mother for lunch where he happens to encounter his dentist Dr. Sam (featured last season) who happens to have a new listing for Josh. How fortuitous. Dr. Sam has been so successful in his teeth drilling business that he's ready for an upgrade from his hillside home in Beverly Hills Post Office. Dr. Sam's 1,983 sq.ft. home includes 3 bedrooms/ 3 baths, a custom pool, and a kitchen with a wet bar, all in a shiny white enamel like a clean tooth. Josh explains the terrible market to a surprised Dr. Sam and they eventually reach a listing price of $1.595 million. At his broker's open house, Josh rents a pair of swans and sticks them in Dr. Sam's pool. The swans make the showing super classy. The home doesn't sell by the episode's end. In a subplot, we learn that Josh wants to write a book about his grandmother Edith, the woman who introduced polyester to your parent's leisure suits. Josh and his grandma travel to Holland to revisit where Edith grew up and lived during the Nazi occupation in World War II. In a very emotional scene between Josh and his grandma, they visit the concentration camp where Edith's husband was held before being sent to the death camp.

Meanwhile, Chad Rogers chases a penthouse listing at the new W Hollywood. As we learn from Chad's narration, he feels that in order to get this listing he needs to be perfectly groomed, which means his head needs to look like a shiny black olive once again.
After receiving a $600 haircut and shampoo (totally uncool in our recessionary times), Chad meets with Maranda, the sales rep for the W Hollywood, and convinces her that he's got the connections to actually sell one of their $5 million penthouse units. The rep is skeptical. First of all, they have their own in house sales team, and second, Chad is kind of being creepy - he karate chops her pillows when she steps away to help a potential buyer.

When she returns 20 minutes later, Chad declares that he's "the Hollywood guy" and he can sell a penthouse. To seal the deal he whips out his little dog from his leather murse, yet again. Naturally, she is overcome by the dog's sad shakes and instantly agrees to sign off on whatever Chad puts in her face. At Chad's open house event in the W's lobby he gets a nibble from a potential buyer named Anna. She writes a check for $50k to hold the penthouse for one week in order to give her the time to decide if she really wants to buy. By episode's end there is no sale. Finally, Chad celebrates his 32nd birthday with various friends including lawyer/client Ronald Richards and is rewarded with 50 percent ownership of his dog. The birthday cake features a frosting caricature of Chad, his dog Starla, and his poor, embarrassed girlfriend whatsherface.

This episode, Chad gave us the classic line, "I wanna eat Starla. I'm eating Starla, guys. Guys look. She tastes so good."

Last and kind of least, Madison Hildebrand's client for this episode is "very successful businessman" John, who is looking to transition into a post-work lifestyle in a marble mausoleum in Malibu. Madison shows John two leasing options, one for $25,000 and another for $19,500. John likes the newness of the first and the coolness of the second, and asks Madison to find him something in between. Easy! Madison tracks down a Malibu listing for a newly constructed 5 bed/ 6 bath, 6,371 sq. ft home, with a banquet kitchen and an odd fixed-in-place dining room table. It also features a pool with a view of the Pacific Ocean. The home was listed at $5.8 million but had no takers. Madison agrees to list the home as a leasing opportunity for $13,000. Seeing his opportunity to connect John (the buyer) with this home, Madison brings him on a tour of the home. Madison guides John around the home. John seems to like everything except for the fixed-in-place dining room table and a brick floor. It really does look awful. Madison works with the owner to have the floor changed out and the table removed. All ends well when John agrees to lease the property.

Highlights:

Chad Rogers: Has his stylists cell phone number for hair emergencies.

Chad Rogers: "Hollywood is about... to become... the newest luxury real estate market."

Chad Rogers: "I am so glad that I got my haircut. My new style helped me seal this deal."

Madison Hildebrand: Goes to an event at the W Hollywood where Chad Rogers is holding an open house for his $5 million penthouse. He learns that his friend Maranda double crossed him by giving a listing to Chad but not to him.

Josh Flagg: At lunch with his mother, she again asks him to get back on his meds.

· Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Ep 6: Good Staging [Curbed LA]
· Million Dollar Listing Archives [Curbed LA]