It's episode two of season three of Million Dollar Listing. Things aren't looking good if you're a big fan of watching the wealthy getting wealthier. The anticipation builds! Will Chad Roger's little dog make a break for it? Will the cameras linger uncomfortably on one of Josh Flagg's skeevy douchebag faces? Will Madison Hildebrand please eat a hamburger. Seriously, Madison, we're worried.
The episode starts with Madison Hildebrand and his client, sex advise columnist Laura Corn, who makes a sexy return for this episode. She's the Charo of Million Dollar Listing! Madison brings Laura to her knees after telling her she must drop the price of her 6,000 square foot Bonsall Canyon home by $605k down to $3.795 million. It's the most dramatic moment in Madison's short time on TV. For a moment we sense an emotional spark brewing in Madison, but then the inner blahhs return and Madison returns to his normal boring self. But fate finally smiles on Madison by mid-episode as he gets an offer - a pathetically bad offer, but an offer nonetheless - of $3 million. And in a surprising twist, Laura Corn gives up all hope and takes the offer with nary a counteroffer. The economy and Madison have crushed yet another soul. Madison's second listing of the episode is through old friend Kim (the houseflipper from last season) who is listing a 2,268 square foot flip with 3 beds and 3 baths in Malibu. She's hoping to price the house in the high $2 million range. Madison crushes her dreams with a target of $2.3 million- $2.4 million. She crushes his sanity by insisting that the numbers in the listing price added together equals 8. They settle on $2.996 million for Kim's flipper property. The listing lingers unsold for 30 days so Madison suggests dropping the price to $2.15 million. Kim balks and pulls the listing.
Moving on: Josh Flagg visits his grandma - the one who invented polyester - in her penthouse abode. She advises Josh to focus on "land" rather than homes, because land buyers have cash. Good call, grandma. So Josh tracks down a piece of property in Westlake Village (that's 25 miles north of Beverly Hills, Josh informs us) owned by a developer named Eric who has plans to put a 9,000 square foot mega-McMansion on the property (like it's still 2006!). Eric and his wife seem dazed by Josh, and agree to list the property for $2.3 million. Despite setting up a giant picture and a golf tee, Josh is unable to sell the property by the episode's mid-point so he moves on to a leasing opportunity for his friend Sam. FAKE! Josh has no friends except for his grandma. Sam wants to lease his 3,200 square foot 3 bed/ 3 bath home on Bel Air Road. They agree on a listing price of $15,000 so Sam can skidaddle for 6 months. Josh happens to have a client who might be perfect and immediately calls him. The client and his hot girlfriend come over, Sam makes some off-color jokes about wanting to bang the girlfriend and voila, it's a deal in douchebagland. The client and the HGF lease the property for $12,500.
Chad Rogers continues to go down market with a listing in the original cougar town, Marina del Rey. Chad's listing is for a 2,304 square foot, 3 bed/ 3 bath home in MDR's Golden Triangle. Chad explains that in a declining market agents are forced to partner up in order to move properties faster, so he partners on this listing with his old friend Brett. Wow! We're learning things! But this can't last. So obviously we can expect something really stupid to happen at any moment which will derail this entire positive feeling we're having. And the wheels come off when Chad pulls his little dog (now with a Twitter account) out of his man purse for the second episode in a row. That poor animal. We hope there are some snacks in the murse. Chad and Brett convince their client, Gigi Rogers, that her home is now worth less than what she bought it for. Sucks to be not as rich as you thought you were. The home gets listed for $1.739 million. Sadly the open houses fail to turn up any serious buyers, or people. Gigi and Chad agree to discuss a future price adjustment if after a few months nothing turns up. Poor Chad and poor little dog in his murse. No sale by episode's end.
Josh Flagg's grandma to Josh Flagg: "You'll be very successful. I'm an optimist about you."
Chad Rogers: While holding his little dog dressed in a mini-sweater, Chad tries to mimic a little ballerina girl by standing on his toes but his knees go all crazy crooked. It's sort of disturbing.
Madison Hildebrand: Slapped in the ass with a "Slut" paddle.
Madison Hildebrand: Driving a white BMW at the beginning of the episode and a black BMW at episode's mid point and then a white BMW at Kim's showing near the end.
Josh Flagg: His client Sam is showing all the classic signs of being a douchebag.
· Million Dollar Listing Recapped, Episode 1: Little Dogs from Man Purses
· Million Dollar Listing Archives [Curbed LA]