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An Insider's Guide to THE HOLLYWOOD Open House

A FOCer (that's a Friend of Curbed) was able to attend The Hollywood's Open House yesterday, catered by Ketchup, and writes in with his impressions:

So I went to the open house at the Hollywood yesterday. They promise the ultimate in chic urban living. I have to say, the finishes are quite good. The kitchens are really nice and well laid out, the bathrooms are great and the tile is fantastic. The rooms have generous proportions and good light. The agent assured us that soon the bamboo outside the window will fill in, obstructing the view of the run-down building next door where poor people live. Each unit has a minimum of 2 1/2 bathrooms as well as laundry space. The prices run from $725 to $1.575. I'm told the HOA fees will run $450, but that includes a doorman and a pool lit by fiber optic lights! Each unit has a fireplace by a company called Purifire. Apparently it's a green product that operates without combustion and doesn't release any by-products into the air. The reason for this seems to be because there is no real flame. It's a "flame effect" - sort of a la dee da version of those fake fireplace where the flame is created by a lightbulb, orange tissue paper and a tiny fan. As far as the ballyhooed food courtesy of Ketchup, the spread consisted of unimaginative sandwiches cut into bite sized pieces and a platter of tuna tartare and waffle-cut chips, which the agent in the unit was apparently telling everyone it was steak tartare, so he could hoard it to himself.

All the closets were staged with shopping bags from Gucci and Burberry and the kitchen cabinets were stocked with expensive pantry items like Barefoot Contessa cake mix. The literature they hand out really pushes the whole "cool people live here," vibe they are going for. The faucets are German, the cabinates are Italian, the "sexy" bathroom mirrors are the kind you find in "world class hotels," and you can access the security camera on your iphone. The tone of the whole project has a sad, desperate, self conscious tone of "dude, you'll be really cool if you live here." This place is so going to be populated with douches.