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The Catch: Free Rent for a Female, And It Is What You Think

Ah, Craig. We can get lost in your list, as we look for a good Catch. The Catch features everything-looks-good-except listings. Nominees to the tipline.

What/Where: New 2200 sq ft home in the San Fernando Valley
Looks Good, Right?: Another offer of free rent for the right female. In addition to free rent, our poster will also pay for "all the utilities, room and board (food, etc) and I will do special things for you (buy you flowers on occasion, write you poems) to make you feel wanted and needed." Uh oh.
The Catch: Sometimes the pathos of Craigslist makes us wince. "Broken up and broken down about a girl I was totally in love with and I can't take living alone. Anyway, I'm looking for, searching for, hoping for, a young, pretty, female who is somewhat "normal" in shape, not insane; someone to dote on and care about, whom I can take care of, be with, maybe even fall in love with. So, if you're stuck with no place to go and don't mind a creative, attractive male vs. a refrigerator carton as a companion, please email me. I'm a writer and artist. Former model years ago. Intelligent, sane, in shape and considerate. Please send a photo and describe yourself. Tell me what you want/need... Please be serious and reliable. In return, shall make you the most special person in my life." (Un)fortunately, the post lacks info on amenities or pics.