Curbed introduces Neighborly Advice, a new column about neighborhood ethics and etiquette. This week's question comes from a young lady who snapped a photo of a man walking his dog on a recent Sunday morning. Location: Palms. The problem? The man was wearing a white bathrobe, leading this fine young lady to ask:
"Curbed: Bathrobe as public outerwear for dog-walking on a Sunday morning. I find this distasteful. What say you? Thanks, Creeped Out." We got an actual expert, Curbed's own neighbor, writer Dan Crane, to hedge this difficult question. ED: Blue dots cover the man's head and his dog to avoid publicly embarrassing both parties. Got your own neighborhood etiquette question? Send questions, photos to Neighborly Advice.
Dear Creeped Out,
First, your photos are horrible. Have you not heard of the “zoom” feature? You will never make it as a paparazzo.
Photo quality aside, let me say this: There is only one excuse to be able to wear a bathrobe outside on a Sunday morning--if you are elderly. Aged 65 or older, you have permission to walk around the neighborhood in your bathrobe, accompanied by canine or not. Sunday mornings are wholly appropriate. All mornings are in fact appropriate.
Ideally, you are not walking around weekdays when school gets out between the hours of 3:00 and 5:00pm, when children may stare and teens may push you over. Aside from that, I say, stride away old person!
Why do I say this? Because walking around in one’s bathrobe is a right of passage for LA’s seniors, who've earned a free pass to meander aimlessly through the neighborhood wearing terrycloth. Elders may even eschew underpants--the weather here calls for it.
Now, if you are under the age of 65, then I’m sorry, the answer is a flat out NO. Sunday morning, and in fact, no morning is okay to be bathrobed and ambulatory. Leashed dog or not, if you’re a middle-aged man sporting a bathrobe—as this man appears to be--word of warning for you and your morning vestment: pervert.
Also, take caution when wearing swaths of white fabric in and around Palms: You are dangerously close to the International Society for Krishna Consciousness. You may be inducted.