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The Westin Bonaventure: Luxury Digs and Protection from the Undead

Ever been attacked by a horde of zombies/communists/recruiting homosexuals and forced to band together with a group of strangers to defend yourselves from the onslaught? Curbed LA's suggestion for an easily defensible location is Downtown's Westin Bonaventure hotel, which doubles as both a 4-star hotel and a nearly impenetrable mess of a structure.

When it was built in the 1980s, the iconic grouping of futuristic glass cylinders was hailed as one of downtown's landmark attractions. Unfortunately for guests (but fortunately for those on the run from marauding Trotskyites), the Bonaventure can only be accessed from the subterranean parking garage or the front porte-cochere on Figueroa. For those suckas approaching from the other three sidewalks, the building is well-nigh inaccessible. Hapless pedestrians hoping to stroll into the lobby are met by concrete walls, creepy nooks, and dark staircases that lead seemingly nowhere. We have yet to locate the piranha-filled moat or the cauldron of boiling oil, but we are sure they're around somewhere.

Next, witness the nightmare inside!

The clever and persistent pedestrians who find their way inside are sure to be befuddled by the linked circular walkways: this cloverleaf of interior hallways is so confusing that the hotel has installed "You are Here" signs approximately every 15 feet. We suggest a compass and a trail of breadcrumbs.
· Westin Bonaventure Hotel & Suites[Starwood Hotels]
· A Bitchy, Surreal PoMo Critique[Frederic Jameson]