1.

My secret wish is to get the job naming colors on paint chips. As long as it pays six figures (eight, with decimal points), of course. For all I know, it does.

"Fasion Pink" NEVER woulda happened on MY watch.

2.

Seriously? This is a 30-minute show? Couldn't Candy or hey, ANYONE, just walk in the door and say "Ralph Lauren Macao" and walk out? What next "Help! I picked the wrong shelf liner!" or "My Ugly Shower Curtain" or "My Bath Mat. My Bad".

3.

as long as the trolls will watch, we'll keep pumping it out

4.

What does it do?
It keeps stuff fresh.
Well that's a fresher. I'm goin' on break.

-Mitch Hedberg

5.

I assumed you were posting a link to my new favorite blog:

http://zacefronpleasestoptanning.blogspot.com

6.

#5 -- that belongs at Defamer! Please alert them quickly.

7.

Ohhhhh. Supple pink. Ohhhh.

8.

Does pink eraser have scratch and sniff?